God Hates Abuse

Read the preface to the book

“God hates divorce!” (Read the rest of the verse…)

Christian wives frequently hear this first part of Malachi 2:16 as though the institution of marriage trumps the lives wrapped up in it. Rarely quoted is the second part of the verse which says:

“along with the one who conceals his violence by outward appearances.”

Christian wives often think they have only two options: endure abuse or face condemnation by God for not obeying the Bible. As a result, guilt, despair, internal conflict and heartache cloak every moment as they cling to survival, trying to please both God and their husband.

The future looks hopeless, and their identity and value obscured. Children grow up as secondary victims of domestic abuse, desensitized to God’s ways and primed to continue the cycle of abuse as adults.

A few years ago, I was in a dangerous toxic “Christian” marriage and couldn’t take it anymore!

After months of agonizing over whether to stay or leave, I finally made a plan of escape. I loaded up my three little girls, three cats, a pet chicken, and every possession I could discreetly pack into my car. We drove across the country to what I hoped and prayed would be a better life. I was very frightened, but believed that if I stayed, I would possibly be dead by my husband’s hands within a year. My close circle of confidants feared daily I would be the victim of a fatal “accident” by my husband on our small isolated farm. I had even started mentally composing a letter to leave behind to be found in the event I was murdered.

If you are reading this, it is likely that you or someone you care about is in a painful, and perhaps dangerous intimate relationship.

To make things even more confusing, the abuser may consider himself religious, and justify his behavior with religious text and teachings. Deeply ingrained faulty religious beliefs compound a victim’s ability to get away from an abuser.

This is a direct insult to the Bible, to Christianity and to God.

A woman should never fear going to hell for refusing to be submissive in a dangerous relationship.

It was the number one thing I struggled with – I was more afraid of disappointing God than I was of being murdered.

The one thing that finally overrode that fear, was the frightening realization one fateful day of what would happen to my children if I wasn’t there to protect them.

It was after I left, that God was able to help me see the truth about him, and that he had never wanted me to stay in that dangerous situation. I had stayed far longer than I ever needed to. Thankfully, I did find the courage to leave when I did, and God helped us through many difficult days ahead as we rebuilt our lives.


If you consider yourself a Christian, and your spiritual beliefs combined with wedding vows makes you feel there is no hope – I’m here to show you that there absolutely is!

God does not condone abuse. You don’t have to feel spiritually conflicted when facing the decision to stay or leave.

If you have powered through prayer and remained in an abusive relationship because you believe the Bible says it should be so, then I implore you to learn the TRUTH about what the Bible says about love, marriage and submission. Find the answers you need and enjoy the abundant life that God meant for you to have.

This book will give you hope in the midst of despair, clarity in the fog of confusion, and inspiration to step out courageously and live the joyful and fulfilling life God meant for you to have.

I will help you along the way, and there will be others to come alongside you also. God did not intend for you to walk this path alone. He has led you here to help you get the answers you need, and find the peace that you crave. Don’t give up!

Read the preface here…

Click here to see exactly what the God Hates Abuse Project does!


God Hates Abuse Project is a nonprofit entity fiscally sponsored by SocialGood Fund, a 501(c)(3) organization (EIN: 46-1323531).




10 thoughts on “God Hates Abuse

  1. I am in so much pain, I feel like I truly can not live in this hell anymore, I am married to a selfish, ungodly, foolish, cruel man, impotent now for 14 years. I just want to get a way from it all. I am a stay at home mom and do not have the resources that is why I have stayed. I love my children and do not want them to grow up in a broken home , but Michael is evil , he hates women and just wants people to think my response to his abuse makes me an abuser. Why has God allowed him to get away with so much evil why has he not been punish for his evil towards me and his family, Why? I hate being his wife. I see him as a weak pitiful man with no power so he gets his power by abusing me behind close doors. Can anyone recommend help for me I need to heal from this hell I live in.

    1. Hi Judy, thank you for writing. My heart is grieved for you and your children. There is hope and help for you in your situation though! Many have endured a similar struggle, and come out the other side to experience a fulfilling happy life. Let’s talk privately and I will give you some resources and help you with some strategies. For safety reasons, I would prefer you send me an email and let me know how we can best talk confidentially. Looking forward to talking with you soon! robin@godhatesabuse.com

  2. I’m sorry that such a thing has happened, Robin. I have heard those things about divorce growing up Catholic. In your case you did what was best for the children and also it can be argued that your former marriage is null and I would vouch for that. I admire your courage to go on sharing your experience. The best of luck to you and your family! I’m sure your experience will touch many hearts and souls!

    1. Thank you for the kind words Jose. We all have trials, and I think most of us come through them because of others who have been there too and compassionately come alongside us. It’s good to speak up and give others hope and a helping hand up! Blessings to you and your family this year.

  3. Hello and thanks for sharing, I agree 100 percent with what you are saying. God hates abuse. He is a God of love who died to take away the sins of the world and to save man kind from all the evils of this life. Gods desire is that we would live a life of peace and happiness fill with joy in the Holy Spirit. And so because of this we should be living happy abuse free lives. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Thank you Norman, you’re right – abuse/control and love cannot coexist. So thankful that God sets that highest example of true love in His relationship with us! Have a blessed Christmas season!

  4. Great article. I love Jesus because he was really sensitive. Especially toward women who were unfairly treated.

    And it says in one of the epistles that the husband should treat his wife like Christ is treating the church.

    Women and men are equal in God’s eyes. Although we are different and don’t see life the same way. A man cannot be a woman or vice versa. Each in their have their own role. But look at how humble Jesus was. A man, while remaining a man assuming his role, should be humble and treat her wife with respect. And his wife will return that respect to him.

    That’s just the way I see it. I’m not saying that everyone should think like me. But that’s how I’m living it.

    1. Yes! Absolutely! It is pretty simple isn’t it – love and respect each other regardless of the relationship with each other. That isn’t your personal opinion, it’s what Christ calls us all to. If He calls us to it, He enables us to do it, even with difficult people in our lives. Marriage isn’t about ownership, but living out the highest form of love. Blessings on you this season!

  5. This is a very informative blog post, I’m sorry to hear about the amount of pain and suffering you had to go through at the hands of your ex-husband. I’m glad that you had the courage to get out of that situation. This is something that any devoted Christian person would have a hard time doing. Well at least you’re safe now, I wish you the best of luck in the future.

    1. Thanks for the feedback – I’m really thankful for all I’ve experienced. It opened the door for me to help others out of what they think are hopeless situations. And that is what makes life fulfilling – making the world a better place for others (especially the kiddos)! 🙂

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